One of “those” people…

During a recent conversation with a friend who I don’t see that often, she confessed that she was, “Doing yoga but not really talking much about it, because I don’t want to be one of those people who talks about it all the time.”

Whilst time was short and we didn’t delve into what that really meant or what drew her to this practice, her apprehension around revealing this aspect of her personal evolution triggered my curiosity. I sensed a fear of judgment, and perhaps loss of individuality.

I think of it as “closeted spirituality.”

And I can say this – without judgment – because I’ve been there myself.

Be curious, not judgmental - Walt Whitman

My main reference growing up was “light Catholic” – we had a home full of books and my dad constantly encouraged us to open our minds. When he noticed I was getting bored of attending mass, he put a book about Buddhism in front me and said, “Here, read this. Take what you need from everything that you learn. Create your own personal blend.”

At first, I tiptoed around nurturing my spirituality. It wasn’t something most of my friends at the time had any interest in exploring for themselves.

I was in awe of other people who knew more than I did, but I was afraid to ask. I explored Reiki and new forms of meditation with some people who seemed clear-intentioned but then veered off in a concerning direction. For a time, I felt like I lived a double life as I secretly explored this spiritual avenue whilst showing up for my day job in the tech world.

I felt spiritually isolated until Life hauled me out of that dynamic.

After this, I took time out from my spiritual curiosity until I felt I was “safe” with others whose perspectives supported my evolving awareness as it felt right for me. With each one came a new mentor who helped me peel off the layers. I was able to integrate spirituality within my lifestyle, and be open about it – such a relief.

Fact: you will not lose your Self within group consciousness, provided you’re involved in a healthy community that understands and encourages your desires, which actually means you get to shine brighter.

Fact: If others label you as one of those people who is in reality taking ownership of their deepest curiosities and openly sharing this for communal benefit… then they’re not your kind of people, are they?

We’ve got to start somewhere. It could be meditation, yoga, reading different books, attending nondenominational spiritual gatherings, embracing silence, confiding in a trusted friend or learning to ask without fear of ridicule… whatever feels like a natural next step for you is fine.

By trusting your own process, you release fear of judgment.

When we put more thought and energy into what others think, we inadvertently give them the power to approve or disapprove our actions. And that’s no healthy way to live your life, is it?

Certain people may not be in tune with who you are today. You may have walked along the same path for a while until you both veered off onto your own, which lead in different directions. You can still love them from a different place in your heart, and enjoy meeting at the intersections if they come up.

Honour where you stand now.

You will not “lose” anyone: Life will simply remove people from your path who are no longer in tune or of active service to your personal growth. It may hurt for a while as you adjust. You’ll be fine, and so will they.

You will gain: awareness, other people (or a new way to relate with your existing connections), resilience and confidence.

Ultimately, you will become one of those people who is willing to speak up. You will also draw closer those who resonate with you at a deeper level, who are ready, willing and able to help you along with inspired action.

You will go from self absorbed to self aware.

And that, my friends, is powerful.

It’s safe to come out. It’s safe to be one of those people who is openly curious about their personal development and is willing to show up, share, and invite.

This brief conversation with my friend has been timely for me. I have not wanted to be one of those people who refers to themselves as a coach, although the word (spoken by others) has made its way into conversation as more people come to me for guidance, and our interactions help us evolve individually, together.

I’m getting cozy with walking it and talking it, which is exactly what you’re doing in your own way, so guess what?

You’re one of those people, and so am I, since we’re all connected.

Be proud of your awakenings, because there are too many people living in soul-slumber who need us to show them it’s safe to come out too.

Rise and Shine, my Friends.

Karin

How has releasing yourself from judgment helped you unfold and take new leaps of faith? The conscious flow happens below (that was an unintended rhyme)…

Stick With Me, Kid…

I’ve spent most of my life working “behind the scenes” on other people’s projects. Every now and then I would step into the limelight, but it was usually a cameo appearance. I’m generally the guardian, you might say, of other people’s treasures and gifts to the world (does that sound presumptuous? …meh).

Since I fully stepped into my writer’s shoes (I opted for 5 inch heels to make writing feel rock star sexy), I’ve felt a shift in terms of who I prefer to work with, and who Universe is presenting me with.

I’ll admit I’ve struggled a bit with the concept of the path of least resistance, because I’ve been so used to doing things by myself and I feel that in certain moments we grow by stretching through the resistance… however, I’m easing up on who comes to me as a direct result of my ‘asking’ for support, because I understand there are certain things I either have no interest in learning how to do, or have come to my wits end doing them myself, and letting go makes room for creativity AND community. Thanks to those who’ve shown up so far, you’re golden.

The key is being able to discern who are the best people to integrate within a growing team, because really it’s about how we co-create together. For this, grounding and awareness are essential. Much as I like to fly high in my dreams while I sharpen my vision of how I can be of better service to others, it serves me to know that the people who are working with me the closest are also in alignment with my values. It’s not a selfish thing, rather a self-ISH approach as it’s been beautifully coined.

Work with those who complement you, and who share the mutual compliments.

Experience has reminded me that when we just pick someone out of desperation or perceived limited choice, it doesn’t always work out very well. It has also taught me that some people show up for a short period of time to connect us with those who will stay longer.

We’re often told that our achievements are influenced by who we spend most of our time with. And this is not to discount or discredit anyone in our lives who may not be ‘up to par’ with our aspirations, since we’re all on this journey together, and we’re in each others’ lives to learn from one another in different capacities.

Still, I encourage you to be more mindful of who is in your life – from friends to business relations. What language are they using (negative and constrictive, or positive and constructive)? How do you really feel in their presence or after spending time together? How do they talk to you about other people? How do they “show up,” especially when faced with challenging situations? Do they rise to the occasion or hide away and point the blame at others? (no judgements behind these questions – they’re simply here to get you looking more attentively)

If you’re building long term plans, be clear on your desires, and invite people into your life who support you with inspired action. And who also have a good sense of where they’re going.

For me, active support can come in the form of words of encouragement, asking how my book is doing, connecting me with people who can build the bigger picture together (did someone say “Empire”?), sharing new tools, and being open to new ideas so I can help them with theirs. My soul thrives on mutual enrichment.

I’ve noticed some people will help only as much as they want you to grow for their benefit, and if there’s a hint of you growing beyond them there will be subtle or obvious knee-jerk reactions to keep you where they’re at. This may be a conscious or subconscious act they are not aware of (yet) and therefore of no malicious intent (hopefully). Be very mindful of these energies and interactions though, or you might find yourself being led down their path and off your own. Especially when you’re stepping into new shoes as they require some adjustment…

Granted, sometimes we veer off course, and these moments serve to imbue us with renewed passion or insight when we get back on track. However, once you’ve veered off a few times and realised how much this takes away from you showing up to share your gifts with the world, then you’ll be more aware of potential diversions and make better choices for yourself and who you engage with.

Helping someone with their aspirations may take on a different priority with you. It doesn’t mean you’re not there for them 100% – but it will be a different version of 100% based on what you’re giving to yourself in support of your desires, which you can use to further support their desires in new ways…

This creates a beautiful infinite loop of gifting and receiving, gauging generosity to yourself and others for everyone’s best interests.

Purify your intentions – these will guide you to the people best suited for you, and open new avenues of opportunity.

Valuing yourself and having people on your team who are in alignment with theirs are keys to healthy relationships and project development.

For me, those people need to have integrity, be honest, eager to learn and co-create a healthy community in which each person’s individuality is respected, honoured AND fulfilled for the greater good of all.

Who’s on your team?

Karin

How does clarifying your vision and intentions help you support others with theirs? Share your insights below…