Let’s Be Frank

Last week, I encouraged you to reach out to someone you deem as being well off and ask if there’s something they could use some help with.

Did you do it?

What happened?

You could literally save someone’s life by doing that, and here’s why:

A coaching colleague shared a Linkedin article about a Swiss CEO who recently took his life because he couldn’t deal with certain pressures. Not uncommon in the Executive world, especially those in their 50s who have been brought up with a particular leadership mindset that isolates them from reaching out, because they’re at the top and “they should know what to do”.

This coach’s underlying message was, WE COULD HAVE HELPED THIS MAN.

No joke.

I found myself in similar shoes whilst coaching the CEO of a US company with an inspiring vision. We’ll call this client Frank.

Even though his interest in coaching stemmed from a desire to develop his business, essentially we were working on him. Week after week, we uncovered how he’d been “showing up” in life; lying to himself and others out of fear, ineffective communication based on feelings of inadequacy, low self image (and attire to match), and low energy from wallowing in self defeat.

Many people in leadership think that coaching is all about “how to build rapport” and “how to communicate effectively” and all that stuff, when REAL change is about upgrading your personal awareness and beliefs, to open up and receive that which you’re wanting to create. It’s about raising your energy, so you can create a higher ability to see things through.

The more we steered his focus on what he wanted, Frank’s self image improved (and his attire to match). He created seed money for one of his newer projects. He started talking to “bigger fish” to develop larger scale business deals. He bought a new car. His relationship with his family improved. He was taking better care of his nutrition. Things were on the up on all fronts. And remember, his primary focus had been business.

Whilst Frank was a really sharp guy, one of his biggest woes was that he felt like the ‘The Lone Ranger’ and it was obvious he had a hard time really letting people into his life and his business.

After 8 months, we finally broke through Frank’s biggest barrier.

Our session that week started with Frank telling me that he was ready to move his business forward big time.

I asked Frank what had changed.

“I decided it was time to finally give this life a go.”

He was 57.

I went deeper, and he revealed that for almost 40 years, Frank had been “lost” in a sea of uncertainty, not knowing his place in this world, often wondering if he should peace out of it completely.

“You realise you’ve been emotionally crippled all along, and this is what stunted your business,” I replied.

“Yes.”

If he didn’t believe he was worthy of being alive, how could he create a sustainable success in his life and business???

I thanked Frank for his honesty. Most of all, for finally coming clean. This was huge, and it was also very courageous of him to share that level of honesty.

Now he could work with a renewed desire and upgrade his beliefs to get going on CREATING his life and business.

It left me wondering though, “How many people out there go through this?” Because it’s not just top level executives who wonder why they’re here on this planet. That’s why I care so much that each one of us honours our dreams, desires and the things that inspire us. Because THAT’s life. “Business” is simply a form of “how” we do it.

Many people get into a coaching relationship to fulfill a particular goal, but those goals are simply steps to personal clarity, so we can know who we really are and upgrade our quality of life. The goals we set are like the yellow bricks we find along the path to Oz.

You may not call yourself a coach, but you DO have the power to encourage and inspire someone into greatness, because we’re all in this life together.

So, now will you make that call? It may well be the first step to help someone along their Yellow Brick Road to personal fulfillment.

And if you’re not sure what to ask, here’s a suggestion: “If there’s one thing that someone can do to make an impact in your life today, what would it be?” (tweet this)

Thank you for asking,
Karin

I Could Really Use Some Help Here

It’s easy to think that someone whom we perceive to be successful (in whatever way we relate to success) doesn’t need or want help.

It’s very easy to assume the CEO has it all together and doesn’t need help. It’s easy to assume the woman who carries herself confidently has it all figured out and doesn’t need help. We are likely to assume the same with people we look up to and admire.

It’s common to think, “Oh, they have money or a staff, so they have the help that they need. They don’t have a need for me to help them.”

We probably assume that the people in our business community don’t need help because we’re all supposed to “look” like we have it together.

The truth is, most of us do need help, regardless of position, regardless of the car we drive, regardless of how we carry ourselves. We don’t always know how to ask.

The trouble with being the person people go to for help and advice is that we don’t always know how to ask for that help ourselves.

We all need help to some degree. And it’s not necessarily a “needy” need coming from a place of pain or lack.

Some parts of society believe that only those in dire straits deserve “help”, and that’s not true at all. Help is available in many forms and for all of us, whether we have 50 cents in a cup or we drive a luxury car, because I believe we all have dreams that deserve to live, and we all deserve to thrive.

If Sir Richard Branson hadn’t known how to ask for help when he started Student magazine, before the Virgin brand came to be, do you think he’d be where he is now? Do you think he’s stopped asking for help at his level of success? Absolutely not! He has a family and dreams to care for, and he still deserves what he asks for, just like you and me. We’re all the same in this regard, and we all deserve to have what we want. Whether we’re creating a business, a car, a house, a relationship, a global mission, or whatever inspires us; we get to have that, and together we get to help each other create it.

The sooner we ask for and offer help, the sooner we all get what we’re aiming for.
(tweet this)

What’s in your heart to grow in your life?

In this light, I challenge you to do this right now:

Think of the most successful person you know (personally), or whom you perceive to be successful or well off. This might be someone whom you frequently rely on for support in your life and business. Now, pick up the phone and ask what he or she could use some help with right now.

Here’s the key:

1. do not judge whatever they’re looking to create – it’s their life and their dreams, just as yours are yours.

2. do this without any expectations of what they might be able to do for you – find out what’s important to them.

3. do not let them get off the phone without an answer (you might be the first person to ever ask them this question!).

Go on, do it. I guarantee you’ll be amazed at what transpires.

I’d love to know what comes of that conversation.

Karin