Which is the REAL one?

This is a barn owl…

And this is a barn owl…

barn owl

Which is the REAL barn owl?

I’d like to share a personal story with you about how we create and believe our reality.

I used to spend a lot of time with my friends at our local “Cheers” – a quaint little bistro on the outskirts of Old Town Marbella, where everyone knew our names, and we rarely had to call each other to see if we’d be there after work, because we usually were. The bistro was co-owned by a lovely couple, whom we’ll call Abby and Claire.

Around the same time, I teamed up with a marketing agency located 30 minutes away in Malaga. Their branding clients wanted SEO genius, and my SEO clients wanted additional branding genius. It was win-win for all.

I would drive out early in the mornings, and return late in the evenings because the office was in the basement of the agency founder’s townhouse, and I would often stay on to enjoy dinner with his family.

As a result, I didn’t see my friends regularly, and wasn’t up to speed with what was happening in their lives.

One Monday morning, Abby called me in a panic and asked if she could stay with me for a couple days. Apparently I was the only one she felt she could trust at the time. I called the office and told them I wouldn’t be in that day or possibly the next, and that I would be working remotely from home to take care of some personal business.

Abby arrived at my place and told me that Claire had cheated on her the night before. I was shocked, even though I knew they had experienced some rough times. My home became her safe haven for the next three days while we figured out her next steps.

Abby wanted to return to the UK immediately – she’d had enough of the tumultuous relationship. However, she was petrified of flying, so I offered to fly up with her if that would help her feel at peace during the 2 1/2 hour flight to London. She was overwhelmed at the offer, and graciously accepted it.

We flew up together, and I held her hand while she managed to relax and sleep through most of the flight. I had lunch with her at the airport in London and flew back to Malaga, returning home within 8 hours. Mission completed.

A week later, Claire invited “the gang” out for dinner to tell her side of the story. She told us the relationship had been over for quite some time, even though they were still living together and running the bistro together. Claire admitted she shouldn’t have been open about her budding new relationship yet because of those circumstances, but she also said Abby was living in denial.

I was confused. These two stories were like water and oil, yet equally delivered with powerful conviction.

I knew that if Claire had come to me asking for help first, I would have done exactly the same thing for her. Such was my loyalty towards either of them, and I share this with Claire. She was thankful that I took care of Abby. We were good.

However, I kept wondering… Who had lied? Who was telling the truth? 

Then I came to a powerful realisation.

They were both telling the truth… as they believed it to be true.

It wasn’t up to me to decide who was telling the “real” story, because each one perceived their experience based on what they believed.

The stories we tell ourselves create our reality, and we’ll feel good about it (or not), based on what we believe.

This is why I am so passionate about focusing my mind and what I tell myself, so that I can be the best version of me at all times. I am insatiable in the expression of the REAL me, because I know how empowering this is.

The REAL Me is a loving, kind, generous, well-meaning, powerful, thriving human being… Doing her best in this world to inspire others to be their best. I believe that is the REAL You too, but you have to be willing to believe that about yourself. Right?

Your dreams and the life you wish to experience depend on the stories you tell yourself.

If the story you’re living doesn’t feel good, start telling yourself a new one. It’s in your hands, and in your mind.

It’s as simple as this:

What you believe becomes what you see. First you tell the story, then the story becomes true over time. (tweet this)

Celebrating the REAL You,

Karin

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