Self love and self respect means letting go of the idea of always having to be perfect. Always be polite, smiling, never saying “the wrong thing” or something that may upset or challenge someone else.
We all have a right to feel what we feel. But sometimes, whether it’s our own family, friends or society, we get “taught” that certain feelings should never be expressed. We’re not allowed to get angry, upset, feel let down by others… whilst they may keep doing that around us or with us.
Just because we may get frustrated doesn’t make us into something we’re not. It doesn’t make us grumpy by nature, or rude or whatever (it may actually mean someone else is acting out of line with us and doesn’t realise it or doesn’t want to admit it).
It just makes us human beings feeling something in particular for a moment.
We have the right to cry, to feel angry, to feel upset, to not like how someone speaks to us or treats us even when they don’t see it as bad or upsetting, or even if they’re trying to make a joke of it knowing our sensitivities. It’s okay not to feel good at times, so we can work out emotional knots and understand ourselves better, and relate better with others. It lets us flow naturally and not bottle things up that may explode at a later time and cause real hurt to anyone.
Feel your feelings without the worry that someone will tell you off, punish or reject you for it. And have the courage to speak up about it. Some people won’t always like what you have to say, especially if they’re used to a certain way of you being with them. Those who really want to understand you and be with you, will learn to listen to you and that respect needs to be mutual. Sometimes it’s quickly learned and others it takes a little longer.
And even when we’re not feeling perfect or acting perfectly according to others’ perceptions, we can still be loved and respected.
If you’d like some help working through what comes up for you here, book your free coaching session.