I don’t need you, I want you. Big difference.

When we fall in love, it’s normal to feel or say things like “I can’t live without you,” “I need you in my life,” and all those wonderful things that make the other person feel desired, and vice versa. To some degree, we do “need” that, but… if it doesn’t evolve from that then there can be issues later on.

If we come from a place of “I need you,” one can often confuse lust with love. It can imply some form of codependency. It may mean someone is filling their needs but not fulfilling your desires. It can mean someone is not ready to sustain a long term commitment and just wants to fulfil their lustful or superficial needs, a fantasy they won’t actualise, a mistaken sense of belonging with someone…

When you have clarity, and you know what we want in relationship, then you are consciously choosing a person – desire and all. The “need” to touch them, to hold them, to accompany you through life takes on a more conscious form. It’s part of the relationship but not defining. It becomes “I want to… be with you, share with you, walk with you, love you, adore you, hold you close, create a life with you, create dreams with you, create magic with you…” those are honest heartfelt wants.

Wanting to be with someone is the most genuine, authentic, and levelled kind of connection. No desperation, no imbalance. No need for attention, just sharing adoration. No games. No hidden agendas. No tricks. Mature. Interdependent. Clean, conscious desire.

That said, there IS a spiritual need to be together, and this, when take care of, is healthy, because we are here to grow through our shared experiences with one another.

And even though there will always be basic human needs to be met in relationship, get clear on what you want as a whole, and call that in.