Jealousy is relationship napalm.

Jealousy gets in the way of love. It creates instability, both in the jealous person and in their partner who ends up feeling like they’re under suspicion for no reason. But it usually stems from fear and insecurity, so let’s not be harsh with people who exhibit jealousy, even though their reactions can be harsh and at times leave a person feeling they’ve got ten swords firmly planted in their back.

In fact, let’s collectively hug the jealousy of others right now. Speak to it gently, “You are safe, I love you.” Hopefully this will give some people peace.

Now let’s see how jealousy affects relationships. Over time it erodes trust on both sides. Jealousy often makes a person see things that are not real as real, jump to incorrect conclusions, act irrationally, even break off a relationship unfairly.

Dear people who suffer from jealousy (because it is a suffering, and my heart goes out to you); It’s not about controlling or questioning your partner’s every move, or lashing out at them when something triggers your jealousy, especially if you may be secretive about your own actions, which in turn can make your person mistrust you. See the chaos it creates?

Your lack of trust will erode your partner’s comfort level with you. They’ll end up feeling like they have to protect themselves from your outbursts. You may even misread that as them hiding something from you, when they simply don’t feel safe with you. How can they love you with ease under such conditions?

Bring awareness and healing to that jealous part of you;
Where does it really come from?
What would your relationship be like if it weren’t present?
What will it take for you to feel secure within yourself so that when your partner says, “You’re my person,” you believe them?

Yes, it’s important to have healthy boundaries and know how to handle certain situations so that both people feel secure in the relationship together. But if it only favours the jealous person’s needs, somebody may want to rethink being in that relationship.

And leaving someone because you only see through the distorted lens of jealousy is not cool. Please respect the heart that loves you.